'TECHNEX'

Now, before you start wondering what 'TECHNEX' means, it stands for "TECHNical EXcellence"!... It is the annual technical festival organised in our college IIT(BHU) Varanasi, by the Student Council. Every year, it attracts a huge number of sponsors, including giants like Google, Intel, IBM, nVIDIA, Adobe, Seagate, among many others. Countless participants from our own college, from other IITs, NITs, BITS Pilani, and other colleges show up for the four-day long festival!

TECHNEX includes a wide variety of competitions, guest lectures by prominent people from India and abroad, workshops on 'Robotics and Android Development', 'Ethical Hacking', 'Surface Computing', 'B-plan' and many others. This year it also included the featuring of movies and the work of many artists, for example, 'Sand Animation' by Rahul Arya, a stand up comedy by Rivaldo, and many others. The competitions include 'Krackat and Innoventure' (which are mock exams for Management and Interns), 'Balvigyaan and Biz-Wiz' (which are quiz competitions) and competitions involving robots like Aqua Combat, I-Robot, Optica, etc. TECHNEX also includes a gaming competition called 'Clutch', in which gamers from across the country are invited to participate in 'Counter-Strike', 'Need For Speed', 'FIFA' and 'Age Of Empires'. And finally, each day is culminated with Informal competitions (including Live Angry Birds, Bluffmaster, Bolt-Unbolt, Treasure hunt, etc.), and also a Military Show, displaying the latest advances in the country's military armaments and lethal weaponry.

Last year I had participated in I-Robot as part of a team, in which we had to build a line-follower bot; but unfortunately a few problems were encountered and we could not finish our robot before the deadline of the preliminary rounds. Now, robotics involves a lot of 'ifs and buts'!....You might have done the programming correctly and checked your hardware properly, but one faulty motor or IC can spoil your game at the last moment.

So, this year, although I helped out some of my friends with the 'coding' of their bots, I preferred participating in events other than robotics.I participated in 'Krackat' and helped co-coordinate 'Balvigyaan', which took quite a bit of effort and occupied my weekend, after an already busy week. None the less, it was fun and it contributed to a very useful and enjoyable experience. I also attended the guest lecture delivered by one of India's prominent political and international affairs advisers, in the form of Oopali Operajita; in which she outlined the environmental issues being faced by countries across the globe, and made us realize our importance in the issue, as the country's future.

All in all, it was four of the most participative and hectic days in my college-life. But, at the same time it was one of the best learning experiences I've ever had. I look forward to participating in TECHNEX again next year, and sincerely urge others across the country to do the same and make this wonderful event even more awesome by your active presence and participation in it!...Today is the last day of 'TECHNEX 2012' and its going to end with a bang, with a Laser Show and D.J. Night!.... Looking forward to it!... So, until next year then!...

 TECHNEX RULES !!!...

My Guiding Light!...

Philosophy and personal events aside, today I just want to thank and shed some light on the people, without whom I would have certainly had to get my feet wet floundering in some crepuscular alley. They are not only the most important people in my life right now, but also someone whose positives I'd like to emulate.

Now, when it comes to idolizing someone, for the fancy Dans it might be a celebrity like Brad Pitt or SRK, or if you are sports oriented may be legends like Ronaldo, Roger Federer or Sachin Tendulkar would fit the bill, or may be the traditional geeks would pick the likes of Bill Gates or Steve Jobs as the people to be. But all said and done, all of them might be great, but each and every one of us has someone special in our lives... Someone irreplaceable! This special person(s) is someone we have always looked up to and followed since our childhood and whose name is the first to turn up in our heads in the face of adversity. Don't know about you guys, but my parents have been such a guiding light for me ever since I was brought into this big, wide, uncertain world. Our parents... The very people we talk to everyday, whom we seldom thank and whose importance we hardly ever realize... What a strange and wonderful relation to share for those fortunate enough! So, this article is dedicated to you Baba & Mamma!

Now, although I've never asked for much from my parents, always being sensitive to our finances and looking at my duty as its own reward, be it in academics or otherwise, my parents too for the most part never allowed anything to dent my happiness either. Granted I never had or even seriously wished for such materialistic luxuries as a Play Station or an Xbox or an iPod, but the basic necessities were always more than covered, for which I'm grateful. And I surely haven't been impeccable, probably being quite a handful to my parents on numerous instances too. So, I'd like to take this opportunity to paint a real-life portrait of my parents, trying to acknowledge just some of their sundry contributions. At first glance, one would say that our small family looked pretty much the same as any other. My father is a government officer and my mother portrays the character of a typical Indian housewife. And although almost every parent has to make some sacrifices for rearing of their children, but doing so without the tiniest bit of hesitation year after year, is something that I truly admire!

We took up residence in Pune when my father was being handed disparate postings every few months or so, to ensure that my education wouldn't get disrupted at any cost, thanks to which I was able to complete my entire schooling at the very same school undisturbed. Back then and even up until the early 2000s, I remember we had an old rust bucket of a second-hand Premier Padmini, which my dad hesitated to park near my school gate alongside even the mundane Skodas and Mitsubishis, although I never had any qualm in that regard as the only thing one should be proud of is doing his best with the circumstances presented. As I used to explain to him, businesses always have an underlying tendency to treat people in accordance with what they stand to gain from them, but that cannot form the basis for self-worth. We didn't socialize much either with many of the affluential families of the brats in my class, as most of them met at swanky private clubs with exorbitant membership charges, our school being one of the most sought after and me having gotten admission there purely based on merit, just grateful for being able to afford the fee. I also remember forfeiting a school organized trip to Australia without even asking my dad, as I knew it would burn a hole through his already burdened pockets. Oh! And who could forget the huge round of mocking applause I was greeted with, on getting my first rudimentary phone during my late teens, which I brushed off with a smirk the sport that I was... Even now, braving the frosty winters and sweltering summers of northern India without a temperature regulating appliance of any sort, I just feel humbled thinking of all the underprivileged who study by the streetlight. 

When my father was transferred to Mumbai, he used to undertake intercity travel on a daily basis, slogging to and from work covering a total of about 400 kms. with a time implication of more than 6 hours each day. Despite his busy schedule, he always tried to finish his chores beforehand, so that he could get a day off during any event relating to me, be it the annual prize day ceremony at school or the Christmas choir. Similarly, my mother has a Master's Degree in English and could perhaps have outdone many others in any associated job interview, but instead she decided to stay at home to augment my upbringing, never letting me feel neglected. Although some would term it as professional lethargy, the demands of child nurture is not something I can comment on at this stage. And if you think that this was going overboard, you could tell my mother that and get ready for an hour's lecture! Even today, after almost two decades, you would see the same relieved expression on her face when my father and I return home safely, just as it was in the old days.

Although I admit my parents have been a tad bit too restraining at times, even perceived by a few as infantilizing, I predominantly looked upon it as an attempt at good parenting, an intention which has become my driving force today. No matter how tough a situation I might be in, no matter if no one supports me, and no matter if nothing seems to be going my way, because the deeply rooted vision of my parents' smiling faces is always enough for spurring me on! Honestly, I could go on writing for ages if I were to throw light on every small highlight, as a single article or blog truly does no justice to the incomprehensible magnitude of what they mean to me. Needless to say, my parents are priceless to me and not a day goes by where I do not strive to repay their debt. Every so often I have flashbacks of occasional unintentional impoliteness towards them, which still hurt be it justified or not. We must remember that what leaves a second's impression on some, might leave a lifetime's impression on others. 

So, today I say this publicly to my parents that:

"I love you and I assure you that as long as you are there for me, I'll always be there for you too! Thank you for being MY GUIDING LIGHT!!!"  

The Mystery Of ‘Reason’!...

Life’s always full of brain-churning puzzles, riddles and questions, some of which can’t be clearly answered, even after a lifetime of head scratching. Although most people go about their lives by their instincts and what they ‘want’, there exist a handful, who actually attach a ‘Why’ to their ‘What’ and try to reason with themselves before jumping into something. You see, in nature, there’s always a driving force behind everything. This ‘driving force’ is what we call ‘reason’!

But, every chain of reasoning has to start from a certain assumption, principal or law, whatever you may call it. This is the point beyond which more ‘Whys’ yield no more results, and the best our persistence can achieve is making us go in circles, using previous ‘assumptions’ as our ‘reasons’. This is what attaches ‘mystery’ to ‘reason’.

Furthermore, our reasons may, and will differ depending on our points of view. Just for example, while I’m busy learning Matlab and other softwares, and helping out some of my friends, participating in Technex (the annual technical festival of our college), with the programming of their robots; the only thing that some people bother to ask me is whether I’ll be getting a certificate for it! Now, self-development is proof enough and ‘reason’ enough for learning stuff, and I know fruitless pieces of paper are not necessarily required to validate what someone’s doing.

‘Reason’ is the holy grail of everything. If we ever find out the reason behind each and every occurrence, behind what has already happened and what is going to happen, we might as well lose our reason to live. Therein lies the contradiction and confusion!......

So, What is ‘reason’ actually?..... It’s something which has its roots in baseless presumptions and uncertainty and yet logical people must embrace it! It’s something which we crave to know and yet, might not really want to know, as that would make our lives utterly boring!...

So, what should we do?... Well, honestly, I don’t know! I have mixed feelings about how my life has turned out till now! I have done some things which I’m proud of, and some others which could have been done a little differently, or shouldn’t have been done at all. Anyhow, I’ve felt it best to let life unveil the right ‘reasons’ at the appropriate times.

As I take steady steps towards my future, with hopes and ambitions and also, some impending fears, I don’t know how things are going to turn out and what I’m going to face. But, none-the-less, I hope and believe that things are going to fall into place and someday, I’ll gain a subtle understanding of the mystery, that is ‘Reason’!...    

A New Lease Of Life!...

How could someone ever guess that a normal Sunday, i.e. , on the 1st of January, 2012 , would end up being one of the most...no! "the most"... dangerously adventurous trip of one's life which would leave many people battered and bruised and really lucky to be alive?!!!...Well, a first hand near-death experience speaks like none other!!!

Some of my class friends and I had planned a trip to Lakhaniya Falls, nearly 70 km. from Varanasi to celebrate the oncoming of the brand new year. We had had a wild night on new year's eve and got up late the next morning only to find out that our plans were being washed away by heavy rains! We took two whole hours to rethink our plan but after some dilly-dallying, we decided to stick to our original plan anyway.

So, we started off at 11 am. instead of 9 am., on a cloudy and gloomy day. None the less we hoped that our adventure trip would cheer everybody up. After we reached there, some of us had a bath, in the river originating from the Falls, while the rest of us prepared 'Maggi' and 'Sewaiyan' over a fire made out of dried branches, twigs, etc., in utensils borrowed from our hostel mess. We feasted, took pics and were about to leave, when some over-adventurous genius suggested that we head up the mountain to the head of the main Falls, as we wouldn't have been able to see it from our current location there. So, inspite of the heavy downpour and dangerously raised water level, we agreed, as it was a 'once in a lifetime' experience.

We started trekking, but the journey was anything but easy. In fact, the word 'treacherous' would do more of a justice to define our journey. Right from the heavily forested, thorny bushes to the slippery rock faces! One slip, and we would kiss good-bye to all our future dreams. Well, somehow, helping each other out we reached the opposite cliff in front of the Lakhaniya Falls. Wow!!! It was an awesome sight to behold; the most amazing sight of my life! The water gushing down and breaking into droplets, appeared like a mist, which had something sinister behind it! We took time to appreciate the power of nature and frankly, were more interested in taking photographs.

Well, it was 5 pm. and it was getting dark, so we decided to head back using a shorter route, which was steeper, and were forced to sit or crawl from rock to rock, from cranny to cranny which lead us to the bottom of the Falls. Here, that mist of water droplets created by the Falls hitting the water beneath, was spraying us with a cool, wet breeze, which made us relax for a few minutes and get rid of the fatigue acquired from all that trekking and rock climbing we had been doing.

Well, some more pics and then, as we were getting ready to head back on a 'supposed' plain and simple route,we made a shocking discovery that the only way was on the other side of the stream, which had currents strong enough to wash away even the strongest of us, and was too deep to cross, with loose, slippery, pointed rocks hidden beneath the water surface. But, brash, young and fit guys don't give up so easily, or do they???!!

We had no hope of going back the way we had come, as another 3 hrs. of trekking through rocks and thorns in the dark without having local know-how, was practically impossible!... We started looking for a way across the wildly screaming stream; and a cheap-ass phone, with a torch-light served our purpose better than an expensive iPhone with no network. After a lot of head-scratching, we noticed an old tree trunk, with one of its ends firmly fixed to the shore and the other embedded deep beneath the river bed. It would help us cross two-thirds of the width of the stream by sitting and scraping carefully across its surface, but what would we do then? Now, I admit that I normally wouldn't define myself as an 'adventure junkie', but the 'Indiana Jones' stunts we were pulling gave me a certain sense of thrill, like I had never felt before!...

It was risky and one false move would surely be fatal (absolutely no exaggeration). Anyway, somehow we managed to get across the log and take a few 'leaps of faith' holding on to each other's hands, to scamper to the opposite shore. It was a long, time-taking and cumbersome process, but the claps confirmed that everyone had made it safely across the roaring stream! So, is this where the tale ends?....... No!! Not by a long shot!!!...

Our route was about to get even worse! We tried to keep away from the water and preferred slipping and falling over slippery moss-covered rocks than to get carried away into the abyss, which had already claimed the lives of two bright students from our college, the year before!... But, out of the blue, we found our way blocked by a shear cliff face, while we could vaguely see a path (which barely deserved to be called so) on the other side of the stream!

Ya, you might have guessed right; we decided to cross the howling stream yet again, for a second time!!!...It was just that this time we wouldn't have the aid of our 'beloved log'!!... The girls were sobbing and I do admit having an impending sense of misfortune! Their tearful faces made us realize how serious our situation was, which was slowly but surely getting out of hand. One by one, stepping from boulder to boulder, each placed several feet apart, not knowing whether the next step would be on a pointed stone or on a ledge or in a cranny, we struggled on. One of the girls was almost swept away but was saved thanks to the iron grip of one of our friends! Ultimately, as we neared the other bank, we had to climb a 5 foot ledge, just to end up on a 45 degree inclined, slippery surface. This probably was the most dangerous phase of our journey yet; one slip and it was a 9 foot drop to the river-bed rocks. Even expert swimmers would've faced a very high risk of sustaining severe injuries, if not getting washed away by the powerful current!!!...

Discombobulated and hurt, with thorns sticking out of our palms and feet, ankles sprained, with our entire bodies beginning to cramp up in the freezing water and relentless rain, we had begun to believe that our perils were far from over and in the worst case scenario, we might even be stranded there the entire night! But, all of a sudden we saw a few dots of light in the distance!!!... No, they weren't glow worms or anything of the sort, but this time, it really was the locals searching for us at the request and appeal made by the Safari drivers who had brought us there!!!...

Even with their expert knowledge and familiarity with the terrain, it was quite a rough ride, but within half an hour, to our great delight, we found ourselves back to the place where we had been dropped off. We boarded our vehicles and were driven back to our college without headlights, only with the help of the car indicators, trying our best not to attract the attention of the police. My mobile was drenched with water, one of my friends' had lost his shoes, many had lost or broken their spectacles or other belongings, but all of this seemed insignificant compared to the very fact that all of us were back safe and sound, talking to our friends about the incident and me having lived to tell the tale through this article!!!...

I'm honestly very glad to be sitting in my hostel room right now and being able to touch the warm keys of my laptop once again; trying to portray what had happened as realistically and accurately as possible. Its strange how the human mind gets over things so quickly, as I dare say it was a fun-filled trip. Although our grit and determination had played a role in saving our lives, I still believe that it was shear dumb luck which saved us!!!... How else could a bunch of inexperienced, college-going students have overcome the worst nightmares, even pros have?????.......All in all, it's been an eyeopening experience, which finally made me realize why parents break their heads and call a million times when we go somewhere!!!...

This trip will forever be engraved in my mind as one of the most unpredictable, dangerous, life threatening and 'over the edge' experiences ever, which changed the point of view from which I look at life!!!..... WHOOH!!! WHAT AN EXPERIENCE!!!...

A Thoughtful Day Before 2012!!!...

On the verge of entering yet another 'New Year', it is the time when some people think of turning a new leaf over in their lives while others recapitulate past events and revisit long-lost memories, wondering about where this journey of life has brought them and what's in store for them further ahead!...As for me, despite the cold winter chilling me to the bone, some kind of fire still rages on in my heart as I enter a world hidden deep beneath flesh and blood, in the farthest reaches of my brain!

At first, it's the usual!... Fleeting thoughts across the surface of the brain, about daily events, yesterday's class, tomorrow's celebrations, and so on and so forth... These thoughts go away as fast as they had appeared and do not make much of an impression. But, as one looks deeper, ........much much deeper!... , the thoughts become way more transparent. These are not fleeting thoughts, but are much more static, calm, definite and permanent. In fact, they are less like thoughts and more like the very things which define you and validate your existence!... 

So, Who Am I? Well, you might think, just another guy who went to school and following the usual trend, entered the engineering stream along with his friends and is now writing some philosophical crap on the internet! Hehe...Well, not quite!!!...There's much more to it than you would expect! I am the kind of guy who dreams of doing big things in life and strives his best towards it; but something always happens, a twist in the tale, a crack in the fuse, whenever I put my mind to something! Just for instance, during our college fests, I am one of the very few who have both the required technical know-how and the willingness to work but always has a hard time finding a team to work with. But let's not delve into all that! All of us have had our moments of glory too!... The new year is all about acknowledging one's past achievements and at the same time learning from one's past mistakes.

Also, how am I placed in life right now? That's another deeply ingrained question which I ask myself all the time, which is not so easy to answer. My personal life, with my amazing family and wonderful close friends, could scarcely get any better! My childhood has been fairly enjoyable, and I couldn't wish for much more! As far as my academic life is concerned, I have my own yardsticks for judging myself, but in general, I have cracked almost all the major exams in my life with reasonably good results, maybe some in which I would've liked to do better, but that's alright; I tried my best and that's what counts! So, is it that I'm really well placed? Well maybe; but not necessarily! Everyone is fighting a battle of their own at different levels; maybe not economically or physically, but emotionally or existentially!

So, all in all the situation is as complex as ever without too many well-defined answers, but isn't that what makes life so interesting? Anyhow, there is definitely one thing that I'll be carrying forth this new year and that is: "YOU should be defined by YOU"! Confused? What I mean is, you shouldn't be defined by where you're from or where you've studied or which family you belong to, etc, etc. You should be accepted and recognized by who you are and what you are, and your positives should be appreciated as they are! Everyone is unique and that's a gift! If you are prudently uncommon, one in a million, then you're special and people should not wish you to be like someone else of their choice!!!..... So, let's go out there, define ourselves and make a statement in this amazing brand-new year!!!.....

Honestly, I don't feel like stopping here because blogging gives me the feeling of close interaction with someone who might share the same thoughts as me, but a full stop must be drawn at some point or the other. So, until next year guys,

ALL THE BEST FOR 2012!!!  

   AND

A VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!!!

Understanding People!

Somehow, it so happens that when we try to solve issues in our lives, they tend to get more and more tangled and complicated as we think deeper, instead of rendering a simple straight forward solution. Such an issue in my life is simply understanding the people I have around me!...

Now, this might not be regarded as an 'issue' by most people, but my brain just works a little differently! What truly amazes me is the variety of different situations that people are in and the way in which these situations have moulded their lives in totally different ways!...Everyone has their own way of living, specially adapted to suit one's circumstances. It is when these circumstances are not mutually understood, that misunderstandings take place. And it's this level of mutual understanding, which I'd like to call 'maturity', irrespective of age or anything else.

For instance, if someone tells us something unpleasant, it might apparently be to just hurt us, but many a times it may turn out to be a friendly suggestion to help us improve ourselves, or it may be an offhand remark from a casual person to draw some eyeballs, not really caring how we react to it. So, as we can see, the intentions may vary from being slightly negative to completely positive and the same remark may thus come from a friend or foe, alike. The rest depends on our perception of the event, which makes us react in different ways, according to our own maturity levels.

Furthermore, what needs to be understood is that there's always an unseen extension to everything that's said. For example, if you say something out of sheer confidence without much of a solid base, technically there's always an unheard 'I bet' attached to it. Similarly, when you exude confidence emphasizing you'll surely achieve something solely trusting your guts, there's always an unheard 'if I can' attached to it (remember this is the real world and not the 'Matrix'). Also, if you say 'there's no way...', it always has an unheard 'unless...' attached to it. But if we get too embroiled with these extensions it would drive us crazy; so most of us simply abstract the bit that's useful to us. Oh! well... I'd rather prefer 'let's find out', which doesn't leave much to the imagination! 

So, as I had initially mentioned, we can already see a simple remark taking on a life of its own, complicating matters as we try to delve into it. Now, a huge majority of people would just ignore such a thing, but it plays havoc in the over-working mind of a guy like me. I just cannot seem to ignore anything, no matter how small or how big it is; and analyzing it like this, probably only leads to a waste of time, but I also appreciate the fact that a clear mind is always better than a confused one. That's the true reason I decided to write this blog; to get certain things off my chest!...

Now, there are loads of related issues and questions that remain unanswered, for example:-

* Should we be influenced by someone else's attitude towards us?

* Should we give a damn to what others think about us?

* Should we live life by our own rules, even if those 'rules' are widely 'un'-accepted?

* Where exactly should we draw the line between 'friends' and 'others'?

and finally, but more obviously,..............

* Does this whole thing need to be evaluated so precisely and statistically at all?

Well, it's for you to answer all that, but I assure you its not going to be easy. Personally though, I have adapted to my own experiences and circumstances, and have decided to live my life by my own rules, because having a constant attitude, even if mildly different, is still much better than living in constant doubt, don't you think?...We must realize that ultimately, our future will be shaped by us ourselves and not by any no-good bystander! At the end of the day, we have to carry our own batons across the finish line, whether anyone else cares or not, for our own sake and for the sake of those who really care for us. So, stop "thinking" and go out there and "do" whatever you have to do, to be successful, and achieve everything you have aimed for! This is the true meaning of life!!!...So;

ALL THE BEST!!!...

& of course,

   BE THE FORCE!!!...   

How It All Began!

Well, seven to eight years back, if you would have bothered to casually stroll into the campus of The Bishops' School, Pune, you would have probably noticed a weighty guy, with his pants pulled high above his waist (owing to the orthodox principles of his teachers), wearing round glasses, standing in the assembly line and yawning, weary of having to get up every day at five in the morning in order to reach school by seven thirty... Now, it's always difficult even for the author of an article, to know how a tale will begin or end, but the middle is always fairly clear. So, in this article, I'll take a detour from the usual and start my story from the middle.

Now, there can be no marks for guessing that the person I was talking about was my former version! Yes, that's how I was in school, and even now as I paint the aforesaid portrait of myself in my mind, I cannot help but burst out laughing. An easy-going person without a care in the world, without any tension of either academics or more importantly about how to get himself into proper shape... Yup! There I was, waiting desperately for the principal to board the podium and get the daily prayers and announcements done with, so that I could just go sit in class, and let the teachers do their daily blabbing. I used to participate actively only in subjects which interested me the most, Maths being the top runner, but most teachers didn't mind that attitude of mine, as I normally (and fortunately), pulled through with one of the top two ranks in my class, albeit by studying intensely a few days before the exams.

At the time I didn't know, or more appropriately, I didn't care about what I was going to do with my life after my 10th standard was over. I was more bothered about going back home and watching my treasured cartoon shows, including Tom & Jerry (which was my favorite at the time), while I had my lunch. Things continued as usual until one day, when I was in 8th standard, my parents brought up the topic of my career, during our breakfast. They turned to me with questioning eyes as I blankly looked back at them with almost half a parantha stuffed in my mouth...

That was the first time in my life when I was forced to think about something a little more important than my daily bread or TV or, in fact, the whole business of attending school every day, finishing the three terms each year properly, visiting different tourist destinations including domestic wonders ranging from the tea gardens of Ooty to the coasts of western India and from the history of Hyderabad to the ice-capped peaks of Himachal and Sikkim during the summer vacations, returning and repeating all of this all over again. I sat quietly for some time with that yummy buttered parantha melting in my mouth, not knowing exactly what I was expected to think about... But, as usual my mother, seeing how hapless and clueless I was, came to my rescue and told me something, which at the time sounded somewhat like IIT - 'G' (actually, as I came to know later, IIT - 'JEE').

THIS WAS THE BEGINNING!!!

This set off a completely new chain of thoughts in my mind, and it was like stepping into an unknown world... The feeling was similar to that when I had seen Jurassic Park for the first time! It still would be two whole years before I would seriously give a second thought to my parents' idea and it wasn't until after my 10th boards exam that I gradually became fully aware of IIT (the Indian Institute of Technology) and the gravity of the exam JEE (Joint Entrance Exam), which needed to be cracked to get into it!... So, here I was, a guy without having any previous knowledge of puzzles, which is known to develop lateral thinking (something also which I came to know during this period itself), and equipped only with the traditional school knowledge, which hardly provides any academic insight required at this level, struggling it out with so many academic heavyweights including previous Olympiad gold medalists, to find a place in the so-called 'elite society'.

I obviously had a very hard time at the beginning, but it was during this phase of my life when I made some of the best friends anyone could ever have (including past friends who grew closer), who remain the truest of friends to this very day. Leaving the narrow-minded politics and the cut-throat competition of school-life aside, all of us started to help each other in achieving a common goal. Our maturity and we ourselves grew as time rolled by, performing equally well in the tests carried out at our coaching institute, and it wasn't long before it was time for D-Day... IIT-JEE 2009, held every year on the second Sunday of April.

We tried to give it to the best of our capabilities, and most of my friends did really well. But as for me, that year was not to be. Whether it was silly mistakes or the lack of ability to handle the final day pressure, I'll never know... The results came and almost all my friends got what they were trying for, what they had given every ounce of their blood and sweat for... They took admission into various IITs and some went to other good institutes like BITS Pilani. As for me, I had qualified JEE but my rank wasn't good enough for getting anything good in any IIT. I was getting some core subject in some NIT through AIEEE. My parents tried to indirectly advise me to take it, trying to convince me that IIT was not the last thing in the world, but isn't that what everyone says if you fail to accomplish something???

Inspite of all this, I had different ideas... I thought and absolutely believed that I deserved better. The close competition given by me to all the top notch students, my praiseworthy results in mock tests couldn't have all gone to waste, could it? It was now that I took another life changing fateful decision based on 70% belief and 30% utter guts, and that was to take a drop and give JEE again! Trust me, this decision is not an easy one to take, unless you are absolutely psyched. I have seen others who did the same, only to end up with something worse or something with so little improvement that it doesn't make a major difference, other than making you lose one precious year of your career. And all the risks were multiplied by the fact that I had already qualified that exam once...

Anyhow, I convinced my parents and stuck to my decision. I used to study in the morning and hit the gym in the evening to take out my frustration, anger and sadness for JEE 2009 on the dumbbells and the barbells! I did this for around 2 months and I'd say, overall it helped me concentrate and focus my energies on my studies, apart from making me physically fit. Then I left the gym to devote my time entirely to my studies. Hoof! All this said, basics revised and concepts strengthened, I was ready for the test once again... But what can I say, as fate would have it for me, the factors which had plagued me in 2009, also plagued me in 2010. My rank did improve but only by around 2500, which the IIT-JEE concerned people would know is not much.

I knew at the bottom of my heart and had proved time and again in the past, that I had the 'X'-factor to become an IITian, but I just couldn't understand why I wasn't being able to access my full potential when it mattered the most. Well, as they say, even people with an iron will have their limits... I had broken down, going for walks out on the street at ungodly hours, time and time again... For a few days, I understood for the first time, the difference between living and just existing... Well, after all this, I couldn't exactly say that 'time is the greatest healer', but a few days later as I finally started coming back to my senses, I glanced through the counselling brochure looking for any glimmer of hope, any silver lining beyond the dark clouds, when my attention was suddenly drawn to IT-BHU...

I researched a bit and found out that BHU was among the best universities in India, with IT-BHU ranked and considered amongst the topmost and oldest IITs in the country and something else which I had never expected to find in my wildest of imaginations! The internet was overflowing with information about the conversion of IT-BHU into an IIT! It was not guaranteed and the bill in question was still being constructed. But here was one of the greatest and oldest institutes in the country which had any chance of giving me the only thing I had been dreaming of for three long years!!! Three long years!!!

Well, fast forward to the present... Now, I have been in IT-BHU for over a year, and that fateful bill has already been passed in the Lok Sabha, and is awaiting its final approval by the Rajya Sabha... As Steve Jobs had once mentioned in his famous speech: "Let truth be spoken!"; this is the closest I have ever come to becoming an IITian, but I hope in all likelihood, that this is 'not' the closest I get... Finally, with the blessings of fate (GOD, energy, karma, destiny, whatever you say), if my dream takes shape, I would say that this epic struggle would come to a very successful ending indeed! Concluding here, many people (including me) believe that I should have cracked IIT-JEE with a better rank, with much greater ease than what is apparent, but let me tell everyone that 'life is not always a bed of roses, but sometimes you need to taste the bed of thorns to understand the essence of the roses...'

And about myself, I don't know what I can say or have the right to say, but I can definitely say this:-

I have come from being a chilled-out chunker in school to becoming the "The Fighter Within" in (I)IT-BHU, Varanasi!!!...

BE THE FORCE !!!...