A Recurring Doubt...!

When you think of the seemingly limitless expanse of space and then try to place yourself and your surroundings in it, it just gives you a sense of sheer pedantic nonsense, no matter how much you zoom in! We are all so concerned with life, which is itself such a flimsy thing, that we seem to forget what tiny specs we really are, especially when compared to the bigger picture.

And, no! These are not the simple musings of a day-dreamer. These are valid questions which each and every one of us face at a certain age and learn to ignore or defer to other issues as we grow older. We never truly understand life, and even the most enlightened of men offer only partial solutions to all our queries, which often just answer the 'how' part of living life but not the 'why'!...

I've spent most of my time in the recent past working, enjoying, thinking, writing but most of all pondering upon the reason why I bother to do these things at all. What's the most which can happen to you if hypothetically speaking, you decided to just exist, assuming for a second that you had no personal or social responsibilities to live up to, and looking at the situation from a strictly logical standpoint? 

In any case, you would spend your time here, and then your soul (if there indeed exists such a thing) would become one with nature or however you want to put it. If you have lived a successful life, people benefit from it and build on it, and if you haven't then no one really cares. But my constantly recurring doubt is where does all of this get you, at the end of it all?

Visualizing the end of life as we know it, some time in the very distant future, we can picture ourselves asking questions like what did this endless cycle of life and death, creation and destruction have to do with anything? What did it do for us? On the larger scale, things would have gone on as usual even if we never existed. 

Its a scary thought, because if there's something we humans love to do, it's to try and validate our lives. We put our faith in a 'master controller' and detach ourselves from things which are too vast to fathom. Instead, we concern ourselves with the pettiest of issues, just like me thinking about whether the title of one of my past articles was a little too brash!...

I frankly don't know how to answer these questions or what's the right thing to do. This is where science collides with faith and during the heated debate, people begin to loose sight of the question itself. I really hate it when I'm in doubt; but the best I can hope for is that things sort themselves out, just like they strangely always seem to do. Some things, I've learnt are just not for us to meddle with, especially for an engineering under-graduate like me!... I guess I'll just enjoy the wonderful rain outside and go about life the way I usually do!...