Parenting 101

Parenting... A term so elementary and yet so convoluted, or is it? The majority of parents I have come across can be categorized into broadly two types... 

The first includes those that simply act as a treasury for their children, who are otherwise left completely un-modulated to be raised like Mowgli, minus the plot armor of a wild bunch acting like an organized human society, and you end up with capricious, overconfident and reckless adolescents without any values or discipline, leading to such episodes as the recent Porsche crash in Pune, which claimed the life of two productive citizens thanks to an under-aged driver who was presumably in over his head. So, if you are one such parent, then sorry to break your bubble, as the efficiency of your parenting that you probably gloat over is likely the absence of it.

On the other hand, the second type includes those who basically want a golden child. They do not tolerate the merest imperfections and try to control their child’s each and every action to the tee, sometimes even involving inherent bodily processes. No matter how flawless their offspring, it is never enough for such parents, or should I say insatiable bottomless pits, who are more concerned about their own public persona than about their child’s mental and physical wellbeing. Their kid is nothing but a tool to them, to further the image of a perfect little life, often unnecessarily inflated based partially or wholly on fabrication and delusions, to inspire the adoration of fluke passers-by thereby momentarily quelling the evergreen thirst of their egotistic minds, and you end up with under-confident people-pleasers, carrying a bag full of tarnished recollections from their nascent years. Such youths always feel lacking, constantly combing for validation from external sources, and are often hypertensive and hyperglycemic, largely due to a lifetime of endless and needless submerged stress, gaslit toxicity and inept albeit showboated fostering.

So, first off if you have survived such a childhood and are now flourishing in a self-taught way, then no one in my book is more praiseworthy than you are! Furthermore, if you are a parent and fall in neither of the aforementioned categories then kudos… You are already ahead of the curve! Parenting is all about funambulism... Equipping your child to be strong without becoming a bully, to be good without aiding in wrongdoing, appreciating your child’s triumphs without allowing conceit, understanding and fulfilling your children’s needs as well as rational desires, but at the same time spurring them to share rather than try to demean others, are just some of the aspects of a long-winded list.

While referring to parenting guides or wayside tips are all swell, it is unsurprisingly up to none other than us to separate the sound from the unsound and rise above the beaten path, not repeating any of the daftness prevalent among our past generations. Being mentally available for your children and able to view the world through their eyes, patiently listening to and discussing their opinions without belittling them, helps develop their acumen keeping frustration at bay.

On a personal note, being a lucky parent myself here are a few things I’d definitely like to impart to my son and anyone else predisposed. Most importantly please note that truth is free of perception, and logic based on truth is the only thing in this universe that can be used as a reliable bedrock. Deriving strength from the loss of the very thing you were seeking strength to safeguard in the first place is meaningless. And lastly, avoid falling into something I’d like to refer to as the dead center trap, a position where you are too well placed to leave but too constrained to stay, somewhat like the eye of a storm.

GOOD LUCK & BE THE FORCE!!!...

Oh! Look... It's the last air-bender... No, it's one-punch man... No, it's our little Aadi! Hehe... Like father like son, only three decades apart! #Mundan@Kamakhya #Blessings@Vrindavan/Gokul/Mathura

What is Success?

Just the other day I came across a dictum stating that people only tend to be interested in someone’s allegory once he/she has attained a certain level of success in life, which immediately begged me to ask the question none other than this anecdote’s heading. So what really is success and how do we gauge it?

Some would define it as how eminent one can be, which is surely a good kickoff for this deliberation. Well, let me catechize this… Other than professions which directly or indirectly deal with public relations like politics or acting, how popular can an otherwise successful individual be? There are legions of engineers who are helping build the very world around you, doctors who help improve and save lives daily and other such whizzes… Let us take any one of them and consider a mere 3-5 km. radius around their residence or workplace. Who do you think would be a household name in that area? I’d bet you it would rather be the local grocers and peddlers, whose name would be familiar to hundreds if not thousands!

And if that doesn’t convince you, let me ask you to name all the Nobel laureates of the past year, the handful of prodigies who have been at the helm of their respective pursuits in recent times. Would you be able to name even a single one without googling it? The point is most people suffer from a God complex where they are the center of the universe, but it is important to modestly realize that we are only one in approximately eight billion humans and an even more insignificant percentage of all living beings, that too not encompassing those that have already been and gone. So, when I sometimes hear in our organization that someone wants to get to such and such rank not to extend their usefulness, but simply to avoid social stigmata, it just makes me snicker… In a big old public sector like ours, I wonder how many employees could even name all the Chairpersons who lead the firm before they joined, let alone the entire Board or any Management down below, and let alone that of any other Corporation.

So, if not fame, then how else could you define success? What about capital? Well, that’s about as rickety as it gets, a notion which I can already hear polarized entities like the Tate brothers screaming against! Hahaha... To put it simply, the richest business mogul of our nation has a net worth more than a hundred times that of the richest actor in our country and more than nine hundred times that of the richest sportsperson here. But does that make the latter two a dud? It is all a matter of perspective. For a street side cobbler many of our lives may be more than they could ever dream of, while on the other hand our financial assets may be a topic of humor for a bigwig who owns a yacht. 

What about spirituality? Does the cross-legged image of a monk in search of ‘Nirvana’ strike you as the definition of success? It might be for some… But others would not be wrong to contemplate the sacrifice of responsibilities in the tangible world that most likely had to be made to get there. And one could conversely argue that having a big loving family is an ideal measure of success. But even so, what about those who were frivolously deserted by their family on a whim, despite living up to all rational expectations and more? Is it their failure or their family’s failure for mistaking their kindness and maturity for weakness?

So, to conclude, I guess at the end of the day, success is really whatever we define for ourselves. Nothing less, nothing more…

Small elements in success... #Philanthropy #SustainableGrowth #CollaborationOfIdeas #ConsistencyInProfessionalContributions

Little Feet, Lots of Fun, Celebrating the Big ‘ONE’!

 

Starting off with a huge shout-out to one and all who helped make our little Aadi’s first birthday an unforgettable one, including kith and compadres who went to great lengths to fire up the event and the J.W.Mariott group for leaving no stone unturned to make it as grandiose as possible. And who needs trained anchors when the guest list includes professional singers and gleeful youngsters, pouncing at the slightest opportunity to put their craft on display! The event managers, decorators, music jockeys and videographers too did a phenomenal job to bring out the exuberance pervading the atmosphere.

Dear son, it has been no less than wizardry over this past year to be an integral part and bear witness as you took your first steps, as you spoke your first words, as your palms became large enough to lift your first toy and all the little milestones along the way. Having to leave you on weekday mornings to attend office is undoubtedly the most difficile part of the day, while returning home to your vibrant laughter, which has evolved from a confused toothless smile to a recognizing chuckle with four rabbit-like milk-teeth, is the sweetest. Watching you sit up like the Undertaker barely two minutes after a two hour long effort putting you to sleep, is nothing short of rib-tickling. These jiffs may vex us now, but before long they will become enamored remembrances to be enshrined.

Now, although your mum and I have had to make do with only a couple of hours of light slumber for day after week after month, every second with you has been more than invaluable. And we know that at times it has not been easy for you either, with our consulting pediatric hospital often becoming a pied-à-terre of sorts, but alas you were born into a family as nutty as a fruitcake and against all odds, have been on no less than eleven separate flights in the very first year of your life itself, when most wouldn’t even dare to undertake air travel at all! Haha… This is probably too early for you to understand, but if your mum and I can be such parents who could even remotely be looked up to not now, but even when you are in your thirties or forties, then and only then would we even start considering ourselves somewhat successful in this herculean task of parenting.

And this is not about passing on my family torch, whose flame to be frank has been flickering ever since I can recall. Honestly, I always thought that my parents would be the ones to form a bridge between any past Cimmerian shade and normalcy, but as it turns out just making a decent livelihood and moving to a relatively developed city doesn’t help, if one’s mind is unwilling to overcome and thrives in the dark void it was born into, turning a potential first success to just another failed attempt. While they always bragged about not having any substantial inheritance, I too am where I am today without so much as a glance at my family’s trinkets, and I am gratified to say that there is already an astronomical accrual from my own childhood to my son’s. 

Somewhere along the journey to adulthood, I think a switch gets flipped in most of us as we realize that not everyone deserves our warmest and kindest version, but it is indeed a shame if members of one's own family willingly walk into that list. If your own would rather cheerlead from afar to save their own hides than render dire support, resorting to incessant slanderous drivel compounding bygone unimaginabilities in lieu of making any sincere amends, it makes you wonder if you ever genuinely meant a shred to them, and a compelling Sherlock Holmes quote comes to mind: "When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." 

As my wife and I bear the mantle of both a shield for our child and a sword for our own penchants, the past half-year having made the boundaries of our congenial sphere abundantly clear beyond an iota of misgiving, it is time to end this wasteful cycle of every generation starting from the ground up, having to reinvent the wheel thanks to senile geezers, instead of pooling in knowledge and resources for greater accomplishments. I have always braved an uphill climb, be it in my personal or professional life, but now it seems to be at its steepest.

Raising a toast to inseparability and many more of our darling’s birthdays to follow…

HAPPY 1^ST BIRTHDAY AADI…!!!

5-star galas are rad but creating weekend memories together is simply irreplaceable...

Other Side of the Coin

Before anything else, let me just take a couple of moments to partake in India’s, or rather as our original Sanskrit name goes, Bharat’s glory, as we bask in the success of becoming the first country ever to land a probe near the moon’s South pole, and only the fourth nation to touch any part of the lunar surface at all. Also, as our PM officially inducted the African Union as a permanent member of the G20 the other day, I extend a hearty welcome to all African brothers and sisters, as Bharat takes on its responsibility as the current G20 president and voice of the global South with utmost earnestness. It is nothing short of jaw-dropping to think of the heights our country has reached within about a mere seven to eight decades of independence, inspiring the envy of past colonizers and looters, and playing right up there with the other handful of biggies of this world, who have had centuries to prosper. It is indeed a very proud and bright moment for us all!

But speaking of brightness and darkness, I have realized that both arise, to a large extent, from how we perceive a situation rather than the situation itself. Keeping that in mind, this write-up is about the possible other side of the only half-truth that we like to accept about our families or loved ones. In this regard, here’s my two cents for any new grandparents and others in similar capacity, who are trying to help out the parents of newborns, with management of their adored little ones. Most importantly, please note that what is expected from your volunteering is the treasure trove of a lifetime’s wisdom raising children, so that the baby can be fed in times of resistance caused by illness… So that the baby can be put to sleep when the recently operated on mother is at her physical and mental limit and the new dad has only had a few days or weeks to learn on the job… So that the baby’s cries can be precisely interpreted… So that the baby’s stuff can be bought in view of his or her health preferences… And so on. I recently got lectured by one such aid regarding a so-called ‘karmic’ account, and although I’m not a very religious man, I couldn’t care less about any such account of mine as I’m driven wholly and solely by logic, which is universal in nature, as two plus two is always four… Not three or five, but four! Per contra, I would surely like to invite these hypocritical kindred, who like spewing out such advice in the present context, to review their own such accounts first…  

If you use your health as a crutch at every opportunity and prioritize it over that of hospital dischargees hot off the press, that too being scarcely in your late fifties, when the bulk majority of people even in their sixties and seventies, who are out to help and doing a good job, usually have some or the other major health concern, it speaks volumes about your dedication. If for some reason you do not have the aptitude for handling a baby even after decades of similar first-hand experience, trying your best in that direction is still appreciable. However, if you switch your attention to other menial jobs like grocery shopping in an age where home deliveries are commonplace, or spending as much time as possible in the kitchen with phone in hand and minimal output, to escape from the baby’s responsibilities, and expect a boat load of appreciation for glorified ubiety, then that is like hiring a gardener with the vision of a beautiful flowery garden, and the only thing he does is sweep dirt off your porch expecting a pay-raise. If you think of a particular gender as principally inferior, with any assertion of parity bordering on villainy, and try to fit them into a vile pre-defined template instead of seeking any required professional counseling against archaic prejudices, and allow it to affect your present-day relationships, it is simply pitiful. If you expend more effort searching for incivility in constructive feedback rather than ways to better assist, with basic post-natal needs required to be laid out in funereal round-table conferences, then it just demonstrates how low your EQ is. If you ignore the baby's cries from right next door, when you can be heard discussing about it, but on most occasions wait for a formal invitation to come and check, it simply reflects the level of care that you possess. If you choose to be a mum spectator in most times of crisis, in a dither over any reaction an opinion might generate, instead of trying to sooth the baby, it just echoes how skewed your precedences are. If you complain about a scant half hour of lost shuteye for apathetic watchfulness at best, after binging your favorite soaps late into the night, it simply shows your aversion towards making the littlest sacrifices. And lastly and most unforgivably, if you abandon a mere few months old baby leave alone your own grandchild in his or her hour of need, trying to hide behind a veil of fictitious accusations and double standards, shedding crocodile tears and taking narcissism to new apogees, only because you didn’t have the grace to accept and take a truth in your stride to try to improve upon it, then that is unacceptable by any measure!

I had once heard on a forum something which has stuck with me ever since, due to the awful lot of sense it makes, that if you want to successfully raise and hold on to a family, the first thing you need to shed is your ego, which is also the primary cause for stonewalling, probably one of the worst ways of dealing with any issue, offering no conflict resolution and creating long term hostility. Household skirmishes in cohesive Indian families, be it joint or nuclear, are abounding, but in the interest of those parties often wrongly accused in such scenarios, thanks to aged sympathy gatherers running smear campaigns, wretchedly trying to push through a twisted rhetoric, this article became a must-write. Being surrounded by ‘yes’ men, superficial sweet talkers and silent spouses can often take one away from reality, but blind self-righteousness is destructive! Afterall, while merrily trying to dig a grave for another, one must be wary of driving the last nail in their own coffin...

Anyways, coming down to specifics, I’ve never been an average joe who gets flustered at every fork and turn. I’ve always put my duties ahead of myself, but if I were to ever face any such status quo altering situation, I'd simply analyze, infer and move on in a heartbeat. Life has never been a strict barter system for me, but for those who contribute 'X' for you now, only expecting to reap 'Y' from you for the remainder of their lives, that's not how businesses work, do they? At every stage of life every member of a family has a certain percentage of responsibility towards himself, each other and society as a whole. For example, if I am doing my 80% now by facilitating my child's education and he is taking the opportunity to develop seriously, then he is already holding up the 20% at his end of the bargain in real time. This distribution shifts as time progresses, but it doesn't change the fact that I have to do or at least give an honest try towards accomplishing whatever responsibilities lie on my plate at any given instance. Genuine respect, often befuddled with frivolous situational pleasantries, is not some low hanging fruit which you are automatically entitled to based on your age or post, but is dynamic and earned or lost gradually with your every single action, and if its completely gone then all bets are off! Someone who commits ten misdeeds then prays ten times each day, is far worse than someone who doesn't do either. 

Taking a leaf out of our Hon'ble EAM Jaishankar's speech, where he cited that "Europe has to grow out of the mindset that Europe's problems are the world's problems, but the world's problems are not Europe's problems", it is uncanny how the same can be said for certain individuals as well. So, wishing good luck to all new parents and hoping that our nation always has forward thinking citizens along with the best leadership…

BE THE FORCE!!!

AADIJAY DEV

5TH OF FEBRUARY, 2023

Excitement and ecstasy with apprehension and tonnes of sleepless nights… Finally stepping into parenthood thrilled to welcome our little miracle, our sweet bundle of joy, our brighest ray of sunshine, our next generation into the world, in the form of our son Aadijay, feels nothing short of hypnagogic! A buoyant shout-out to the new grandparents on their elevation, and ardent thanks for the tireless hours put in during the nine months, to bring this to a successful fruition, along with the rest of our friends and kin for the wishes and blessings pouring in from far and wide. It seems to be divine governance that despite a non-sedentary lifestyle, this birth is incidentally our dynasty's fourth iteration in the very same city of Guwahati, starting from my maternal grandpa, followed by my mother and me, and now assuredly my son too!

If a family can be represented as pieces on a chess board, then it is important for a new dad to figure out who the most valuable piece is… It is not him, but the newborn who is the king! Continued protection must be ensured for the wee munchkin as he quickly learns and grows under our vigilance, at the same time not forgetting to harbor this rapidly passing phase. There is a saying that “Hard times create tough men, tough men create soft times, soft times create weak men, weak men create hard times!” Hence, irrespective of one’s financial standing and place in the social strata, one must raise warriors, so that efforts of one’s past generations can be used as a spring-board and built upon, rather than stagnancy or regression resulting from smugness.

The name ‘Aadijay’ meaning ‘the first victory’, struck a chord with me the moment we came across it, as it is symbolic in so many ways… While it is true that the parents’ longings may differ from their child’s ambitions, probably one of the only regrets I have had in my own life till date, is that although I have been a step or two ahead of our recent foregoers, I wouldn’t call it a quantum leap. I wasn’t able to professionally pursue the career of my first choice, which was to be at the forefront of our existential quest as an astrophysicist or a scientist in general, nor have I been able to set up a laissez faire milieu for us. So, if our son can actually follow his most preferred path albeit without sacrificing practical necessities, it would surely be the first true victory, not only for him but may be for mankind at large! Who knows?

The shift in priorities has been stark… While on the work front I have always tried to do my best all around, it is best remembered that plant shut-downs come and go, and you try for little achievements between your daily punch-in and punch-out, but our career’s end normally isn’t too different than foretold by our trajectories, which in itself usually varies only marginally with any added push. On the personal front too, although my wife and I have already well-utilized the five years of ‘we-time’ we’ve had, ensuring soundness of our way of life and roving places, there are still quite a handful of domestic and international destinations on our radar, which I wish we are able to visit sooner than later, even more so now with the newest and cutest member of our family.

Last but not the least, Son… If you happen to read this article some time later in the near future, remember that all said and done, it is ultimately you who defines your name and not the other way round… You have for sure inherited some capable genes for the most part, and having brought you into being of our own velleity, nothing is more important for us than to provide you with the best upbringing possible at our level. But I believe that at the end of the day, nothing surpasses true resolve and effort. 

While it may be lonely at the top, it must be imbibed that an attempt to get to that echelon can thereby often become a lonesome march too. Strength in numbers is after all the fancied go-to measure only endorsed by the feeble and the incapable, borne out of necessity rather than one's disposition. No wonder jillions of influential personages these days prefer low-key conjugal rites and such, realizing the paramountcy of quality over quantity! 

Aadi, you are the embodiment of your parents’ will and we have the utmost love and faith in you. There is nothing that we hold dearer in this universe or the next...

BE THE FORCE!!!

Not even one, but trotting across the Indian peninsula from the vibrance of Goa to the lore of Kolkata...!

The Gravest Error: Self-deceit

As was once expressed by the 19^th century British writer and politician Edward Bulwer-Lytton, “The easiest person to deceive is oneself.” Self-deceit, a term although commonplace, is often treated too lackadaisically for one's own good, which leads me to question the awareness regarding its implications. It is usually borne from reluctance to accept the naked truth, preferring to pull the wool over one’s own eyes rather than having the industriousness to transform one’s imagined world into reality. It is a false road to fulfillment, which vanishes as one nears its end, and one’s actuality crumbles like a house built on sand.

Think of con artists like Charles Ponzi, after whom the infamous ‘Ponzi Scheme’ is named. He knew his methods would be unsustainable in the long run, but still pursued his ways for an enviable twelve months or so, before being imprisoned for more than twelve long years, eventually dying in poverty at a charity hospital. A classic case of self-deception indeed! But we needn’t look that far, when examples in our day to day lives are a dime a dozen…

What would you call the use of unfair means in a mock test for short-lived glory, instead of using it to assess your present level in all verisimilitude, for the actual exam and improve? Or shying away from medical test results, knowing full well that they are just a reflection of what you already have in your system, preferring ignorance over haleness? Similarly, you must have come across folks who spend a couple of days in the gym, and believe they can effortlessly take on professional fighters and strength athletes. Some expert street bikers too, thinking they can always get away with their hooligan stunts on crowded roads, despite their common recklessness, without ever getting into an accident, is another worrying prospect. On a graver note, secretly wishing for the departure of someone chronically sick on the pretext of concern for the patient's discomfort, when all you want is to get rid of your own burden, is another often overlooked example of self-deceit.

So, how can we counter the sometimes overwhelming urge for self-betrayal, something that I would rate as even more negatively potent than the seven cardinal sins? I’d say every time we tend to fly off the handle, we should perform an immediate reality check and remind ourselves of our current footing. But the more we rehash this process, the more our determination needs to increase, to avoid complacency arising from repetitiveness, so that we never get sucked into the fake realm of self-deceit!

STAY REAL!!!... 

#AsRealAsRealGets! Welcoming our Hon'ble Director (Refineries) to Guwahati on the occasion of Indian Oil Athletics Meet - 2022

75 Years of Independence

Celebrating the ‘Azadi ka Amrit Mahotsav’ commemorating 75 years of modern Indian independence, the fervor with which this year’s Independence Day is being observed in our country is unprecedented. With almost every household here adorned with the Indian tricolor, in line with the ‘Har Ghar Tiranga’ initiative by our Hon’ble PM, it is truly a sight to behold. With flagged bike and electric rickshaw rallies, and even small-time roadside vegetable and fruit vendors proudly displaying our national flag on their hand-pulled trolleys, and school students performing to patriotic songs in the farthest and remotest reaches of our vast and diverse nation, adding to the already zealous festivities, 2022 is turning out to be a year like none other.

Being presently located in North-East India, whose athletes had a fabulous showing in the recently concluded Common Wealth Games at Birmingham, only acted as an embellishment to the jollification, which was unmistakable at the live programme we attended at the Mahabahu Brahmaputra River Heritage Centre on the eve of our 76^th Independence Day. With the mighty river Brahmaputra gushing past our venue on one side, and the fantastically lighted erstwhile DC’s bungalow in the backdrop, as well as Starbucks Coffee and Radisson Blu outlets bordering the stage area, it couldn’t get more scenic than that!

But for me, this is not just about national independence, but about personal freedom too. However, with increasing day to day liabilities, it is easier said than done... Or is it? You might have come across a truism stating that complete control is an illusion and the closest we can get to it, is by being authentic in our decision making, the hows of which I have previously touched upon way back in 2012, on this very blog in “Stop The Waiting Game!.....” While we may have control over putting in the right amounts of elbow grease in the right directions at the right instants, which undeniably have a bearing on the final outcome, it is best earliest understood that the actual outcome itself can never be directly controlled by us.

Hence, with this realization comes plenty of rope for the mind, and as a result peace, which is extraordinarily important especially considering that the next big shovel of coal that I had mentioned in my last article might not be too far after all… ;) The sooner you stop woolgathering over consequences after having done the needful, the sooner will you learn to get the most out of life! Wishing all the do-gooders of our nation bright days ahead…

VANDE MATARAM!

Nature’s Apotheosis

Meghalaya re-discovered!

The title of this scoop really says it all… If there is one state in India where nature is prioritized over any pecuniary objectives, then Meghalaya would surely be one of the strongest contenders for it. While the heavily frequented Shillong and Cherrapunji may be the polestars of tourism here, many don’t realize that there is so much more to this state often left unexplored! So, my wifey and I embarked on a 3-day campaign of re-discovery of this miraculous province.

First among the places of exceptional curiosity, was Asia’s cleanest village Mawlynnong… Enter it and not only can you forget about morsels of street-side refuse, but you can safely bet on the absence of even a single dried leaf on its roads! The level of spruceness maintained here along with lines of baroque chalets, could not only challenge any 5-star resort but probably also come out the winner. And nearby one can find another global uniqueness native to only some parts of Meghalaya, the picture perfect Mawlynnong living root bridge, connecting the opposite banks of a ferocious cascade. Nature is truly the best engineer there is…!

Next up was the border town of Dawki in the West Jaintia Hills of Meghalaya… Boating on the crystal clear waters of the Wah Umngot between sheer cliff faces, offered one of the most immersive natural experiences we’ve ever had! Although it can get a bit murky during times of heavy rains, washing the surrounding hillside soil into the river, row to its central patch and it is likely to more than live up to its reputation. The India – Bangladesh Tamabil border also offered a rare sight where Indian and Bangladeshi tourists crossed their respective national territories to exchange greetings in the no-man’s land, clicking selfies with each other.

The Mawphlang Sacred Grove, a few miles offset from the Shillong – Cherrapunji road, was another spell-binding experience, the local guide giving us an exclusive insight into their clan’s history and centuries’ old tradition practiced to this date, not to mention his skill with the camera, no less than a seasoned photographer, giving us some exquisite shots with the forest. Hope we didn't anger their deity Labasa, who legend has it, does not allow anything that belongs there to leave the grove! At the end of the day, these are the winks of time that get mortared to our minds. Personally, if my head ever needed a factory reset and I had the super power of teleportation, then this would definitely be the spot I'd arrive at!

All in all, this was surely our most momentous trek since our Chail-Kufri getaway about a year and a half back. Our harmonious surroundings made us realize that we have already been blessed with and achieved so much in a short time, be it professional stability or overall familial well-being or being able to go places unconstrained, without having to worry much about finances or otherwise, and much more. We are grateful to be in a position, if we can say so with utmost humility, where the number of cars or properties in our family is almost equal to the number of members, be it for present convenience or envisaged future necessity. Our level of preparedness is almost as if we are waiting for life to catch up to us, albeit in a very positive way... For the next big shovel of coal in our steam engine, so to say! Sorry, I guess the philosopher in me is at it again… Hahaha… Thank you ‘Megh’-‘alaya’ or should I say ‘Abode of the Clouds’!

Back to work then... *SIGH*

Too advanced for our own good?

As it was once mentioned by one of the foremost minds in theoretical physics of the past century, Richard P. Feynman: ‘Science is just a key for every man to the gates of heaven, but the same key can also open the gates of hell’! Nothing else could be truer…

Just for instance, as we all know harnessing nuclear power in reactors can be a boon as a sustainable energy resource, but use it to create weapons of mass destruction and the horrors become instantly apparent. Think of the atomic bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki at the end of World War-II, where about a quarter of a million people were wiped out in two fell swoops, the majority of whom were innocent civilians. Genetic malformations are observed to this date in the descendants of the survivors of the cruel attack! Besides, excessive nuclear tests have a massive detrimental impact on the ecosystem and the environment, creating temperatures equivalent to the Sun’s surface for a few seconds here on mother Earth. Are we not concerned about harming the very things that help sustain life on our precious planet? So much for a term as casual as ‘collateral damage’…

But, this is not just about nuclear power… In our day to day lives, would we the common folk, stand even a remote chance if let’s say, a sniper or someone with any decent long range fire-arm, were to target us while climbing into our vehicles or simply strolling down the street? Think about it for a second… Earlier in the age of sticks and stones there was at least a possibility to defend oneself, but now it appears to be more luck than anything else, especially with relaxed gun laws in quite a handful of countries, leading to increasing incidents of shootings in schools, subways and other public places. The sheer fragility of life like a bone china dish, haunts me to the extent that I have developed a rather unique addiction for keeping busy all the time, not knowing the paucity of time the future holds. Have we become too advanced for our own good?

Diplomatic allegiances aside, today as Russia wages war against Ukraine without any clear perpetration of violence or territorial infiltration by the latter, with Soviet tanks running over Ukrainian civilian cars and much more, what power does a regular person have in the face of such adversity? The very reason the United Nations was formed after two consecutive world wars was to prevent an occurrence approaching such magnitude of loss, but we see history repeating itself exposing these organizations as hollow rubber stamps just to appease some of the super powers of the world. Any vote against one of these super powers would simply be vetoed by that nation. Isn’t it obvious?! It seems Nazi captive Anne Frank’s chilling quote that the strong live and the weak die, still stands in the present modern era.

In any case, I think evidence is aplenty that at the end of the day there is no substitute to strength, from the might of a country right down to that of an individual. No wonder so many Indians have tremendous respect for our martyred freedom fighters, like the trio of Bhagat Singh, Rajguru and Sukhdev, Netaji Subhash Chandra Bose, Udham Singh and countless others, who were ready to go the distance to achieve their goals, unlike certain others whose methods were akin to emotional blackmail and long term political propaganda. These revolutionaries laid the foundation stone for our country to be as independent and strong as it is today, and the least they deserve is a humble salute from each and every citizen of this prosperous nation.

Jai Hind! Jai Bharat!

Personal strength forms the building blocks for national strength! #Home Gym Modest Beginnings

Health & Fitness

Didn't imagine that I'd ever get to say this, but after burning at its brightest globally over the last month, it looks like the Corona-virus is finally on its way out of its pandemic status, although not before infecting my mother, my wife and I, as a final goodbye. Yeah… After all the hearsay, it is bizarre that now we are part of that worldwide case count too! But I’m allayed that we escaped relatively unscathed, especially as far as my diabetic mother is concerned. Anyhow, the COVID tally as on date stands at 42.6 Crore cases with 59.1 Lakh unfortunate demises, a narrative that will forever stick in the minds of all those who have lived through these dicey times.

But, moving past the whole Corona business, I would like this article to cover a lot more than just that. None of us are getting any younger, are we? No matter what age group we presently fall in, the clock’s hands never turn anti-clockwise. Just for instance, even at the healthy age of 30, I feel more comfortable in the 210 lbs weight range, rather than carrying around close to a beefy 225 lbs, which came naturally to me at 25. The power of my lenses which were constant for the better part of two decades, have more than doubled in recent times, probably due to increased time spent on a PC at work. My tonsillitis which lay dormant since my pre-teenage years has become a recurring issue as of late as well. And I would definitely think twice before lifting my wife from a supine position just for fun, which was a piece of cake back in the day, for fear of spraining by back! Hahaha…

But, age is surely not the only factor causing changes in one’s health. Climactic conditions, current lifestyle and other parameters also have a role to play in our day to day fitness. For example, after we moved to Guwahati, the duration of my wife’s allergic coughing bouts has gone up from days to weeks, at least partially due to the heightened humidity of this place. Routine medical checkups or trips to the gyno have also become more frequent. All in all, I have realized that this is a time when we need to put in more of a conscious effort to take care of our health to keep it on a steady track, be it diet regulation or the appropriate amount of cardio and resistance training, to keep our vitality at the required level.

But this is not just about one’s physical health alone. I think we can all agree that the significance of mental health has been showcased all too well by the exiting pandemic. With countless folks having faced protracted quarantines and lockdowns, it is easy to feel isolated not only from each other but from our very purpose to live. However, I think my wife and I have received the sweeter end of the deal in this regard, thanks to Guwahati’s lively environment, with our Refinery’s annual fate and flower show at our township here a few days back, where we won the 3^rd prize for ‘Best Kitchen Garden’ cultivated at our residence! Whatever uplifts your psyche, remember that you are the only one uniquely qualified to deal with your own impalpable issues.

Towards a greener future with our award winning nursery!

Shangri-la

No twaddle and no buzzwords required… What can I say? Modern day Guwahati has simply been our Zion for the past couple of months here! I still remember a time when my wifey and I used to hanker for the tiniest of de vacaciones, but now that my posting has brought us to the Garden of Eden itself, our cravings have been briefly quelled. Other than the marvels of Guwahati, nearby places like Sonapur with a multitude of activity-packed resorts and hillside tea gardens, Chandrapur with scenic riverside hideaway auberges ideal for a day out, as well as wildlife sanctuaries like Pobitora with umpteen species of migratory birds and rhinos, are quite the catch! What more could one ask for in a world consumed by COVID yet again? Yeah… A new year and with it a new variant of the Corona virus… Enough already!

This time it is Omicron, first detected in South Africa and spreading inchmeal to eventually grip the world in the most infectious upsurge of the virus yet. Till date over 4% of the global population has been infected by one or the other form of the notorious Corona virus, leaving more than five and a half million dead in its wake! It has already been more than two years since this horror story began and memories of a COVID-free world have become truly obscure, with daily COVID cases in India climbing from a few thousand to over a quarter million within the first two mere weeks of 2022, ushering in its third wave. Vaccination of children has commenced, with frontline workers and senior citizens having co-morbidities being prescribed booster doses, and many brands which were basing their advertisements on the exit of the virus, having to revert back to their old commercials... How anti-climactic!

On the work front, I’m glad that my efforts at Panipat were finally officially recognized with a top grade in our annual ratings after a two year lull. And although this does not change the hard facts mentioned in some of my recent articles, it does hint that there are at least a handful of individuals even in a public sector like ours, ready to look past short sighted politics for overall betterment, to whom I’m grateful. Nevertheless, there is a long and tedious road ahead… As a fish named Dory once said: “Just keep swimming, just keep swimming…” LOL!

On the personal front, one of my old colleagues who recently got hitched mentioned that the pressure to ‘enjoy’ is a lot… Haha! While family planning may have been the only priority for many amongst the past generations, enhanced prosperity and the resulting open-mindedness has led most of the present generation to reconsider the bucket list of stuff that were previously often ignored prior to parenthood, be it a career launch or simply touring some of the wonders of this world together without too many additional responsibilities. But it is time when it is time… Counting on your blessings o’Lord ;) 

My interaction with Hon'ble Chairman, IOCL during inauguration of our new DIP unit at Guwahati Refinery, as part of the core commissioning team!...

Sayonara Twenties!

Our Guwahati saga begins!

As I bid adieu to my twenties within the next 2 weeks, it is indeed a strange sensation stepping into my tricenarian years… Somehow, even before my teenage, I could always visualize myself as a twenty something year old, but I could never look past thirty. As I had rightly mentioned in one of my previous articles, it truly does feel like a whole different phase of life, separated by a well-defined barrier. But I guess there is no better place to cross it, than my birthplace itself, Guwahati…! Is it coincidence or providence? Either way, 1991 to 2021… Man, what a journey! Earlier, even ten years seemed to be monumental, but as every passing year forms a lesser and lesser percentage of our total time spent on this planet than the years past, I’m only beginning to slowly assimilate these thirty long chalked up years. 

I’m glad my parents had come over to live with my wife and I for the entirety of my 29^th year, which is the longest I’ve spent with them at a stretch, since having to leave home about eleven years back, for my higher education. And whilst all of us spent some savory time together, let us admit that most families these days do require a sort of post marriage ice-breaker. It is never easy when the paths of two families get intertwined, with potential difference in precedences, expectations and a lot else, things which come to light only after prolonged exposure to one another. However, it is important to reach a level of logical acceptability, albeit with care for each other’s inclinations or aversions to the extent feasible.

I feel blessed to have a terrific family, be it my wife or my parents, or my in-laws. When my maternal grandma was critically ill a few years back and counting her days in a half conscious state, barely able to respond or gesture to anyone, my wifey was the one who had the foresight to convince me to buy air tickets within a day’s notice, for only a couple of hours visit to my hometown, leaving all my official obligations aside, and today I can thankfully say that the smile on my grandma’s face on seeing us, was beyond priceless, which might not have been possible had we arrived any later. Then again, when it was time to get vaccinated against COVID-19, my wifey was the one who convinced by conspiracy theory spinning father to get the dose, something which proved to be of immense importance not only from a health point of view, but also for essential travel and in other avenues later on. The list is endless…

On the other hand, my parents as always have tried their best to be as compassionate and inclusive as possible, despite the dynamic many a times being different from their age old imagery, for which I’m grateful. From our childhood we are used to seeing our parents as pillars of strength, but as we grow up the tables are turned, and although they might still continue at a fever pitch, the fragility of our older generations, be it physical or mental, slowly becomes apparent. Once approaching our thirties, we should be matured enough to accept our role as a heavy-duty hinge, doing our bit for the proverbial door-frame assembly not to fall apart. People tend to have a short memory about the good that is done, while the bad seems to get cemented in history, but that’s not me.

Any way… On the professional front, as far as my present calling at Indian Oil goes, after a blistering start in my initial few years with some brilliant colleagues and unprejudiced top brass, piloting through the quite antithetical widespread reality has gradually become more and more onerous… I’ve seen highly competent all-rounders retiring at average ranks, and relatively bush-league individuals fast-tracked to higher levels in no time at all. Sometimes, getting too involved in this petty game of cat and mouse really doesn’t feel worth it, especially when you have a family to look after, but alas the world doesn’t always bend to our will easily. 

I guess successes and debacles are always part of the voyage, but as our Guwahati saga begins, I have nothing but heartfelt gratitude for all my friends at Panipat for all the fond memoirs, and my well-wishing seniors for their constant guidance and support. On the personal front though, I’m relieved that Guwahati is treating us a lot better than Panipat ever did, with a wide mishmash of places to brighten up our evenings and the weekends. As the Dutch writer, Corrie Ten Boom once said: “Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.”

Wishing everyone a happy and safe Diwali'2021... 

A special thanks to our respected CGM & GM for gracing my farewell at Panipat! Au revoir until we meet again...

Resurgence

After having been posted at Panipat for nearly six long years, I guess it is finally time to move again, thanks to my life’s first official transfer, to a place none other than the gateway of North-East India, Guwahati. To say that this order was a shocker would be an understatement, as so many in our company have tried for the same in vain, Guwahati being one of only two major refinery locations under the Indian Oil banner (the other being Baroda), where you do not have to run to another city for the nearest airport, and the only one out of the two to be situated in the lap of nature.

But these aren’t normal times, are they? Yeah! I’m talking about COVID-19, a pandemic which has again raised its loathsome head in our country, with this wave being far worse than the first, with more than 350,000 new cases being reported daily and no signs of slowing down. Medical systems are on the brink of collapse, with a severe deficit of oxygen being faced across most major hospitals pan India, and Govt. organizations and public sectors diving into the mix, converting industrial grade oxygen to medical grade, and supplying thousands of tonnes of this life saving resource to the nearest cities. The air-force too have been tasked to airlift liquid oxygen tankers and mobile oxygen generation units to locations being overrun by the corona virus. Even the ongoing vaccination process promises to save you only from the severity of the disease rather than to prevent contracting the virus in the first place. These turbulent eddies have a grim outlook indeed! But life must go on as always...

Personally, despite the challenges involved, I’m happy with the anticipation of settling at a new place. Well, not completely new though... Our family might have chosen to settle at Pune for the long term, but my parents grew up in the North-East, with my father hailing from Shillong and my mother from Guwahati itself, making it my ancestral place of sorts. The tales of my great grandfather, Prof. Atul Ch. Dutta, who was the founding father of the Botany Department of Guwahati's 116 years old Cotton University, are legendary. And the memory of my grandparents’ glory days will forever be linked to that titular Assam-style house near Paltan Bazaar, proudly standing to this date, surrounded by concrete highrises. Sad that the tenants to whom we’ve rented the place, could hardly understand its significance to us.

Anyway, although some might call this transfer ill-timed due to present global circumstances, I would say the timing couldn’t have been any better. Not only does it give me an opportunity to trace back my roots, but one must admit that after a certain while spent somewhere other than probably one’s home, one simply outgrows the place, which is exactly how I feel about Panipat now. Other than leisure, although I have put in some of the best work of my career in the past couple of years here, be it the actual assignments or the necessary peripherals, it has unfortunately been the least rewarding, with possible effects of distasteful workplace politics, incompetent audit committees having the nerve to criticize those who perform their role for them, and an unwillingness to provide leaves even when practically unavoidable, causing me to lose the little faith I had in the system. A private firm even with all its follies, would know how to value its assets. Oh, well... Having squeezed every bit of worth out of this place and its surroundings, I guess it is time to gracefully bow out.

Thank you Guwahati Refinery, IOCL for the warm welcome!