Parenting... A term so elementary and yet so convoluted, or is it? The majority of parents I have come across can be categorized into broadly two types...
The first includes those that simply act as a treasury for their children, who are otherwise left completely un-modulated to be raised like Mowgli, minus the plot armor of a wild bunch acting like an organized human society, and you end up with capricious, overconfident and reckless adolescents without any values or discipline, leading to such episodes as the recent Porsche crash in Pune, which claimed the life of two productive citizens thanks to an under-aged driver who was presumably in over his head. So, if you are one such parent, then sorry to break your bubble, as the efficiency of your parenting that you probably gloat over is likely the absence of it.
On the other hand, the second type includes those who basically want a golden child. They do not tolerate any imperfections and try to control their child’s each and every action to the tee, sometimes even involving their bodily processes. Such parents are more concerned about their public persona than about their child’s mental and physical wellbeing. They just want to use their kid as a tool to further their image of a perfect little life, often based partially or wholly on fabrication and delusions, and you end up with under-confident people-pleasers, carrying a bag full of tarnished recollections from their nascent years. Such youths always feel lacking, constantly combing for validation from external sources, and are often hypertensive due to a lifetime of endless and needless stress.
So, first off if you have survived such a childhood and are now flourishing in a self-taught way, then no one in my book is more praiseworthy than you are! Furthermore, if you are a parent and fall in neither of the aforementioned categories then kudos… You are already ahead of the curve! Parenting is all about funambulism... Equipping your child to be strong without becoming a bully, to be good without aiding in wrongdoing, appreciating your child’s triumphs without allowing conceit, understanding and fulfilling your children’s needs as well as rational desires, but at the same time spurring them to share rather than try to demean others, are just some of the aspects of a long-winded list.
While referring to parenting guides or wayside tips are all swell, it is unsurprisingly up to none other than us to separate the sound from the unsound and rise above the beaten path, not repeating any of the daftness prevalent among our past generations. Being mentally available for your children and able to view the world through their eyes, patiently listening to and discussing their opinions without belittling them, helps develop their acumen keeping frustration at bay.
On a personal note, being a lucky parent myself here are a few things I’d definitely like to impart to my son and anyone else predisposed. Most importantly please note that truth is free of perception, and logic based on truth is the only thing in this universe that can be used as a reliable bedrock. Deriving strength from the loss of the very thing you were seeking strength to safeguard in the first place is meaningless. And lastly, avoid falling into something I’d like to refer to as the dead center trap, a position where you are too well placed to leave but too constrained to stay, somewhat like the eye of a storm.
| Oh! Look... It's the last air-bender... No, it's one-punch man... No, it's our little Aadi! Hehe... Like father like son, only three decades apart! #Mundan@Kamakhya #Blessings@Vrindavan/Gokul/Mathura |
